Change is a very Scary Thing: Trust series 2
by boaterV
Summary: continuation of "trust is more than a word" Parker is even more confused. Eliot is reluctantly there for her.


Tag to "The Last Dam Job"

Sequel to my other OS _Trust is more than a Word_

_In the weeks following Jimmy Ford's death Parker's unrest had built. She wanted to talk to Sophie but she was so busy with Nate and even Parker understood that was more important._

_She couldn't shake the doubt. _

_It was taken so long to get to the point where she felt it was okay to be with him and now doubt was building a mighty castle in her heart. Refusing to let anyone scale it's walls. _

_The image of his face as she pushed him down the elevator shaft. His words. They hurt. Why did they hurt? This was all so new to her and it wasn't like she could go to normal people. _

_If she had ever been normal she couldn't remember it. Certainly it was before the accident. Although even before that it wasn't all Leave it to Beaver. She knew enough to know she was seriously damaged but she didn't know how to fix it. _

_For so long she had liked being damaged. Liked not having to worry about other people or feelings or anything else but the job. The click of the clock. The shine of the laser. The rotation of the guards._

_Then she had met this dam crew and they had forced her to question everything. _

_Feelings bombarded her and she didn't have the skills to deal with them. But she had tried. For him. She had tried. But he still didn't trust her. It hurt. It hurt so bad and she just didn't know how to make it stop._

_She walked in as Eliot started his lecture to Nate about killing. About how he wouldn't be the same. About how it would change him. Hearing his words she realized of all the crew his was the most like her. _

_She remembered their conversation in the ice cave. _

_Hardison was sweet and kind but he wasn't like Parker. _

_He wasn't for Parker._

_That thought hurt. But it hurt less than trying to figure out why he didn't trust her. So maybe it was okay? Maybe she was figuring it out without Sophie's help?_

_She bumped into Eliot as he walked away from Nate. "Do you ever want to be like normal people?"_

_Eliot stopped. This was another Parker question. One that meant more than just what she was saying. He turned and looked at her. Hoping for some clue as to where this was coming from. He knew asking her wouldn't get him anywhere so instead he thought for a moment._

"_No." She smiled at the word even as she looked at him waiting for more. "Normal people don't know the true meaning of the word trust. They can't comprehend what it means to put your life on the line for someone."_

"_Aren't you lonely?" Parker had begun to wonder if she was. Perhaps that was why she was always the last to leave after a briefing or why she dropped by unannounced to eat Nate's cereal. It wasn't like she didn't have her own. _

"_There is a big difference between being lonely and being alone. Sometimes I feel lonely."_

_She watched him for a moment trying to figure out how his cryptic words applied to her question before smiling. "I'm not alone."_

_The way she said the words in a rush of breath broke something inside him. It was sometimes easy to forget just how fragile she was. Always smiling and jumping. She made him tired just by watching her but there had been glimpses. Tiny windows into her tragic life. Here with Archie, in the past at the orphanage and when they had found out about her brother. _

_For a moment he wanted to hold her but knew she would pull away. Instead he leaned in closer and whispered one word._

"_Never."_

_As he walked away he tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling her sparkling eyes raised in him. She was his friend's girl and while Eliot was a lot of things above all else he was loyal. He was going to take a long vacation after this job on some tropical beach and make sure it was filled with beautiful AVAILIBLE women._

_He had nearly reached the others when he heard her following. Turning around to see if there was anything else he was thrown off balance buy her jumping into his arms. Her tiny body wrapped around him like a warm blanket and he allowed himself to close his eyes for just a second before stepping back from her._

"_Thank you." She smiled brightly at him again and it was beautiful. He flashed back to their last conversation that had ended like this. The last time she had asked him one of her Parker questions. Something was going on with the blonde thief. He was going to have to get Sophie to talk to her. _

_He certainly wasn't about to voluntarily have some sort of heart to heart with her. That just wasn't something he did._

_She sat in the middle of her new apartment. It was a large converted warehouse on the North end of the city that Parker had gotten at a steal thanks to some help from Sophie. It was weird that she no longer minded them knowing where she lived. Just another part of her life that had changed._

_Her head was spinning. She was feeling all kinds of new things and she didn't have the skill to deal with them. She was like an infant, wanting to throw a temper tantrum but not understanding why. _

_Why didn't she want to be with Hardison? She had spent the last year thinking that was where she was heading. Trying to get herself emotionally ready to be able to be with him and now? Now she hurt._

_Hurt at the thought that the man who had talked her through their job in Dubai didn't trust her to be there for him. Sophie and Nate were off somewhere celebrating. After the dam Sophie had insisted on some time alone. She couldn't talk to Hardison. That left only one person._

_She picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. "I need help." She hung up the phone and walked into her kitchen. She needed something sweet. Something that would make her smile. Opening the cabinets she ignored the vibrations of her phone and scanned the multi colored boxes of cereal with funny smiling characters. Selecting one she pulled it out and poured herself a bowl. Grabbing the milk out of her fridge and dousing the bowl she sat at her table and began chewing._

_Eliot was used to Parker being strange but this was different. He was worried. He tried calling her back after her short but demanding phone call but she wouldn't pick up. He grabbed his laptop and thanked the hacker for his pushy behavior. He had insisted Eliot learn a few basic techniques including GPS tracking cell phones._

_Pulling up Parker's number he found the green dot blinking slowly in her apartment. _

_Perhaps someone had broken in?_

_Maybe she was trapped in one of her ridiculous rigs?_

_He could think of a thousand bad things and all of them had him moving faster towards his truck. Rushing across town he pulled into the parking lot next to her place and leapt out of the cab. Running towards the door he checked for any sign of forced entry before punching in the code and entering. He paused inside the door again adjusting to the dim light before he noticed Parker sitting at her table eating cereal._

"_Eliot." She leapt from her chair and moved forward. "That was fast."_

"_Parker, what the hell?" A scowl pulled at his face. "I thought you were in trouble."_

"_I am in trouble." She didn't understand why he was angry._

"_I meant life threatening trouble." Parker felt a warmth at his words. He had rushed over because he thought she was in danger. _

_She took a few more steps forward. She wanted to touch him. It was an odd feeling. Having spent so many years accustoming herself to the lack of human contact. _

_She was within arms length before he felt the anger melt away. The look in her eyes stirred something in him. Hadn't he decided to avoid her?_

"_If everything is okay I'm going to leave." His voice was gruff._

"_But I need help."_

"_With what Parker?" His annoyance was back now. He wanted to get away from her. He needed to figure out what was going on or working together was going to be difficult._

"_I'm confused."_

"_Then you should talk to Sophie or better yet your boyfriend." He needed to remind himself that she was off limits. For some reason over the last few weeks his friendly feelings toward her had started to spiral out of control. Two nights ago he had a dream that he would rather not think about right now while he was in a room along with her with a perfectly good bed right behind her._

"_Sophie is on vacation with Nate and I don't have a boyfriend." Eliot wasn't surprised by her statement. Parker was emotionally stunted. But just because she didn't call Hardison her boyfriend didn't mean he wasn't._

"_Hardison. He's listen to you."_

"_He doesn't trust me." Parker looked confused and lost and Eliot felt a protectiveness sweep over him. He didn't like seeing her hurting._

"_Parker, he adores you. He would do anything for you."_

"_He didn't want to jump." It took Eliot a moment to realize she was talking about the elevator shaft. _

"_He's afraid of heights." Eliot tried to explain things to her._

"_I've done so many things to try and be normal, better, and he didn't trust me." She looked broken again and Eliot moved forward._

"_You don't need to be better. You are fine the way you are." Parker offered him a sad smile as he slipped his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the couch. He wasn't good at this sort of thing but he wasn't about to leave when she was so lost._

"_I'm changing though. I can't seem to stop it." She looked like she might cry and to Eliot that was worse than kryptonite. _

"_Parker I'm really not sure what I can do here." _

_She leaned into his side and he hated how right it felt to hold her. It didn't matter that she had said her and Hardison weren't together. All that mattered was his friend had feelings for her. That made her off limits._

"_I don't think I want to be alone." It looked like the thought confused her and a part of him understood that. They had spent so long by themselves before they had formed this team. Parker more so than anyone else. They all had enjoyed at least a reasonable semblance of happiness. Parker however had never had a home. A family beyond her brother._

"_I'll stay, for now Parker but I'm not the one to help you deal with this." His voice was harsh but he needed to keep a distance. For some reason he was having a hard time putting the thief back in the box of friend and coworker._

"_You told me we were alike, that we do the things they can't. I don't know if I want to be different anymore." Her voice was killing him. That soft waiver belonged to a lost little girl. Not the crazy, strong, thief that he had come to know._

"_There's no going back for me. I can't be the guy I was before, not anymore." She thought about the speech he had given Nate and she frowned. "But that doesn't mean you can't change."_

"_But I don't want to be weak."_

"_Caring isn't a weakness. We're a team. We look out for each other. We care about each other." He waited for that to sink in for a moment. "Do you think we are weak?"_

_She smiled knowingly at that. They were the best. Unstoppable when they were working together. _

"_But you.."_

_He cut her off. "It isn't the same. Life did this to you. Made you the person you are. I chose this." she started to speak but he cut her off. "No one forced me to do anything. Everything was my choice."_

_She stayed silent for a moment. Thinking about his words. She nodded after a moment and closed her eyes. Snuggling closer into his side. "just for a little while."_

_He chuckled darkly at her sunny tone again. "ok."_

_Part of him loved the idea that she was changing. It was for the best as far as he was concerned. Sure he had said they were alike and he guessed in some ways that was true but just not the ways that mattered. He had done things. Terrible things. _

_She had asked once, about his past and a part of him had wanted nothing more than to bare his soul to her. There was something about her. He knew she would try not to judge but even someone as unburdened with a regular moral compass wouldn't be okay with everything he had done._

_He felt a loss at the idea that she would no longer be on his side of the softhearted team but he couldn't begrudge her a chance at happiness. If that wasn't with Hardison that was unfortunate for his friend but it wasn't with him. It could never be with him._

_Why then did it feel so right to have her lithe body tucked up next to him?_

_The End?_

_AN_

_There is a really good chance I wont leave this here. I like the idea of Eliot and Parker a little too much and now that I have dipped my toes in the water it's only a matter of time before I dive._

_Did I mention my love of reviews? I will beg. Or maybe I'll just send Eliot after you?_


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